Dating someone has child


I am currently in a relationship with a great man who has kids of his own.My dilemma is that one of his children is special needs (autistic) and will likely never live independently, only possibly in a group home as a young adult in his 20s.



Am I being selfish or shallow in my fear of this undertaking? Thanks for asking such an honest and challenging question, Carol. A man is allowed to not want to date a 400lb woman if he doesn’t find her attractive.Is this a valid reason to keep looking for a different partner? One of the things I’ve learned over thirteen years of giving advice is this: if I ever dare suggest that someone is entitled to not want to date you, I am perceived as an insensitive asshole. A woman is allowed to not want to date a guy who looks like her father if she doesn’t find him attractive. Which is just my long lead-in to suggest that your concern about the effects of an autistic child on your life is entirely reasonable.If I tell a woman that it’s okay for her not to marry the penniless, 46-year-old, always-between-jobs Peter Pan guy, then those guys will feel I’m denying their basic humanity, when, in fact, all I’m doing is letting the woman know that there are plenty of other fish in the sea that she will not have to financially support. In fact, if you were to not consider the effects of being a stepmother and caretaker to a special-needs child, you could be considered hopelessly naïve.I caught a lot of flak for this post, in which I empathized with a woman who suffers from debilitating depression, but let her know that men were perfectly entitled to choose a healthy, normally functioning partner instead. A quick Google search reveals that the annual cost of autism therapy can exceed $40,000 to $60,000 per year and that the lifetime cost to support an individual with autism is greater than $3.2 million.