If you walk into any packed Black hair salon or Black barbershop on a Saturday and ask “What are your thoughts and feelings about anal sex? You’ll probably find a few sistas whose ambivalence about the subject may bloom from a lack of interest and/or education.You might encounter a couple who enjoy it, are well studied about it, and are vocal in regards to the pleasure principle of it.You could run into the exceedingly religious man who continually waters the sexual philosophy that anything outside of the missionary position is a sin, and anal is definitely and will always be a non-negotiable.I’d bet my next nail appointment money that We know—hopefully through common sense or with a click on any free porn site—that concept is modern urban mythology at its finest. You yourself may be a big fan of the original “backyard boogie.” You may have absolutely no interest at all, and that’s okay too.Ass it turns out (pun fully intended), all kinds of people are doing it: White girls, Black women, Christians, atheists, gays, straights. But not only is anal sex something that many people from various walks of life engage in; it’s an activity that many women and men love, and some even prefer over vaginal sex, as a path to sexual satisfaction and physical pleasure.Girlfriends are doing it to their boyfriends (it’s called pegging). With so many people from diverse walks of life participating in anal play, why is it still taboo in the Black heterosexual community?Is the influence of conservative religious ideals on the sexual identity of Black women and Black men responsible for a sometimes-negative outlook on anal sex?
(After all, we live in a culture where rape and sexual violence are as common as the rain, and our community—and the media—often condones, excuses, and in many cases perpetuates the idea that women need to be taught how to avoid rape instead of teaching men not to rape.) All of these factors and more are at play in varying degrees; they all aid in perpetuating the idea that Black women and men don’t or can’t enjoy this facet of our sexuality.When speaking to other Black people about the messages we received growing up around anal sex, it came as no surprise that many of us were fed the same messages from media, religion and sometimes family.Religiously, some of us were indoctrinated with the idea that anything outside of “vanilla” sex within the boundary of marriage was frowned upon by God Himself.And mass media perpetuated the idea that “good girls” or “ladies” don’t engage in (or truly savor) such carnal and lustful behavior.