If we can recognise the warning signs of a domestic abuser, or someone who is likely to have an abusive personality, we can save ourselves (and our loved ones) a lot of grief and heartache.Many survivors of abusive relationships have so often said that if they had just known the warning signs, they would never have got involved with their abusive partner.The good news is, that it is possible to predict the likelihood of the person you are currently with or are about to become involved with being a domestic abusiver It is simply a matter of having the knowledge of the warning signs to look out for and being sufficiently aware to notice them (which includes not being to blinded by love, lust or desperation! Below are a list of behaviours, traits and beliefs which are common in abusive personalities.These are commonly known as Warning Signs of abusive personalities .While not all abusive people show the same traits, or display the tendencies to the same extent, if several behavioural traits are present, there is a strong tendency toward abusiveness.Generally, the more warning signs are present, the greater the likelihood of violence.In some cases, an abuser may have only a couple of behavioural traits that can be recognized, but they are very exaggerated (e.g. Often the domestic abuser will initially try to explain his/her behaviour as signs of his/her love and concern, and the victim may be flattered at first; as time goes on, the behaviours become more severe and serve to dominate, control and manipulate the victim.
As the jealousy progresses, he/she may call you frequently during the day or drop by unexpectedly.He may be unhappy about or refuse to let you work for fear you'll meet someone else, check the car mileage or ask friends to keep an eye on you.Jealousy is not proof of love, it is a sign of insecurity and possessiveness.Controlling behaviour is often disguised or excused as concern.
Concern for your safety, your emotional or mental health, the need to use your time well, or to make sensible decisions.
Your abuser may be angry or upset if you are 'late' coming back from work, shopping, visiting friends, etc., even if you told him/her you would be later back than usual.